How women and men murder children

It is a commonly known fact that all life is sacred. Well, all human life. This is why women who abort their babies are sooooo evil! The solution is, of course, to strap the women to a bed and force them to have their fetuses. Er... sorry, I mean human children. But why stop there! God WILL send every single one of you monsters to hell, for all the genocide of poor, brainless... I mean helpless fetuses. So here's what you're doing wrong.

How women murder children...

There is the conventional way in which these devil-worshipping prostitutes murder children, which is that they murder a child in their belly. But the horrors don't end there! Women have a limited amount of eggs—somewhere around one and a half million. Every time they menstruate, they essentially murder a human being; they murder an unborn child. This means a woman must be pregnant every nine months, so as not to waste the precious eggs our Lord has bestowed upon her. She also must start having sex before her first period, so she doesn't kill that first child unknowingly, but she must be married to have sex. Genocide is not okay, but neither is promiscuity, so get married and stop killing your eggs, women! Let Jesus save you! No, not your Mexican gardener.

Moreover, since a woman has one and a half million eggs, she must live one and a half million months, just to bleed them out. Multiply that by nine, and we get thirteen and a half million months a woman must live so as not to kill her unborn babies, like a sociopathic bitch. If a woman dies before becoming one million one hundred twenty-five thousand years old, she is a sinner and will go to hell. A woman must live that long, so she can give birth every nine months to all the children she'd otherwise murder. If she dies at, like, eighty or ninety, a woman is essentially worse than Hitler.

However, because of women's sinful nature, they will enter menopause at some point after turning fifty. This is part of God's punishment for women's great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandmother Eve stealing an apple from God. And it is, of course, women's fault that they physically cannot give birth to all their eggs, and it makes them murderers. God, who made them this way, cannot be blamed, for that would be blasphemy and perhaps even more evil than being a murderer, like all women are.

The conclusion is that women are all evil and should burn in hell. You know you deserve it, you little sinners! But let's move on to another group of sinners.

How men murder children...

In some ways, men are even worse than women, but fortunately, men have more in common with God, and are thus favored by the Lord. Women, however, are at least a million times more evil, even when they do the same thing as men. But do men also murder children? Women murder when they either abort a conceived human or a human currently in the shape of an egg. How do men abort humans? How do men murder?

According to science, if that can be trusted, it takes around three months for one sperm to be made, and sperm doesn't live forever inside the man. This means a man must impregnate one woman every three months. This is why the Bible has polygamy; monogamy is Satan's greatest weapon against God, who is good. A man needs three women, so he impregnates the second when the first is three months pregnant, impregnates the third when the first is six months pregnant, and then impregnates the first woman again, right after she's given birth. If the man lets a single sperm die, he is an evil sinner, who murdered a child.

An average load can contain up to around five hundred million sperm. So for simplicity, let's say a man has five hundred million sperm at his disposal per day (it could be a lot goddamn more). Each day, five hundred million more mature after their three-month creation period.

It's important to know that every sperm counts! Every sperm is a human! We may as well call them humans, rather than sperm. Much better terminology. The problem with being a sinner is that every one of a man's "loads" contains five hundred million sperm men, so even when a man impregnates a woman, he essentially MURDERS four hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine humans. Sorry, that would have been simpler to write like 499,999,999, but that wouldn't have the same impact. It is of course not God's fault that this is so, even though he made it so; it is because Adam stole God's apple, like the satanic, worse-than-Hitler sinner he was.

So before a man inseminates his wife to make her pregnant, he ought to consider that he must first somehow separate his load into five hundred million different ones. If he prays really, really hard, maybe he can make it happen. Even so, he cannot use all these sperm people for just one woman, for she can only be pregnant with one child at a time, in rare cases two or three. A man must therefore impregnate five hundred million women every day, lest he be sent to hell for genocide.

Nine months is around two hundred seventy days, so the amount of women each man will need is five hundred million multiplied by two hundred seventy, which would be one hundred thirty-five billion women. Imagine then that every period of nine months, a man will create one hundred thirty-five billion children. And the man must be father of the year to each kid; he must provide for them and his wives. And that's not to mention that the next nine months, he must have more children, and the nine months after that, even more.

Consider then, that all these women and all these children are for ONE man. This means that, although there is about an equal amount of men and women, there would actually need to be one hundred thirty-five billion women for every man. Somehow, I don't see this happening. But that is, of course, because Adam and Eve ate God's fruit. Evil sinners.

Who is more evil? Women or men?

As a rule, one can say any given act is one million times worse if a woman does it. But a woman can only kill one and a half million children during her life, while a man kills more than that in a day. So according to the math, men are the worst child killers. But there are always exceptions, and God told me women are worse. So that's that. No one can argue with the logic that has embellished this excellent blog post, and if you say otherwise, God will send you to hell.