Abysmal Stories #1

"Abysmal Stories" is a series with funny memes and comic strips, and it has almost no relevance to anything, although sometimes it might. Download the images from this issue.


DOE & BUCK: This is a short comic strip. It was written and designed by Patrick Hall on June 26 and 27, 2014. Copyright © 2014 by Patrick Hall. All rights reserved. Feel free to download it and spread it around, as long as you credit the source and don't charge people for it.

One summery summer afternoon, I was out with my brother's dog Chaplin. Lo and behold, I saw a deer in the woods and even tweeted about it, like the dork I am. The next day, I thought of a stupid and somewhat regurgitated joke, and from this joke I made a comic strip. In other words: Oh, deer, I seem to have created a deer-inspired comic strip. Well, enjoy it or DOEn't, but if you do, please give me a buck by buying my books. You think the joke is stupid? I agree, so enjoy the comic strip—Doe & Buck.

Moving on. Religion is something I've never really considered to be true. Ever. But I'll be damned, it turns out I was wrong. The Flying Spaghetti Monster came to me in a dream! And his message is in this meme—God is food.

GOD IS FOOD: This is a meme. It was written and designed by Patrick Hall in the small hours of July 4, 2014. Copyright © 2014 by Patrick Hall. All rights reserved. Feel free to download it and spread it around, as long as you credit the source and don't charge people for it.

And finally, it's funny how conservative Christians complain about how evil LGBT people are, and how perverted it is, and whatever shit they can spew out. But at the same time, these Christians, including men, go on and on and on about Jesus, and how great Jesus is, and how perfect Jesus is, and how they love Jesus, and how Jesus loves them, because Jesus Jesus Jesus blah blah blah. They even say that they feel Jesus's love, and that they've experienced him. If you ask me, coming from males, that sounds pretty gay. Don't you think? But it's sort of different, as they only love one specific man, so I thought this sexual preference deserves its own name. That's where this next meme enters into the picture. I call Christians Jesusexuals (alternative spelling: Jesussexual; I don't know which one I like more). Below, you can read the definition of Jesusexual, in the following meme—Jesusexual.

JESUSEXUAL: This is a meme. It was written and designed by Patrick Hall on July 26, 2014. Copyright © 2014 by Patrick Hall. All rights reserved. Feel free to download it and spread it around, as long as you credit the source and don't charge people for it.