I Am Heretic #18: Pride (Seven Deadly Sins #4)

"I Am Heretic" is a satirical comic, often accompanied with commentary in the form of an article. Download the comic strip from this issue (right click, save as...).


PRIDE is one of seven deadly sins that are supposed to be so wicked they’re one-way tickets straight to hell. If you commit any of them, you deserve to be tortured for all eternity. Well, that’s what God thinks, at least.

I know I say this about all sins, but pride is definitely the most ridiculous one. Being proud when you’ve done something good can’t be helped, but that is apparently sinful, so we should all burn in hell. This sin punishes us for doing good. Thank you, God, for teaching me not to be good and to be scared of feelings that are out of my control. Christians state morals come from God. Surely feelings do, as well, which means God punishes us for something he gave us that we cannot control. Evil fuck. God's mom truly did a poor job raising him, or perhaps his father molested him.

SEVEN DEADLY SINS: PRIDE: This is a short comic strip. It was written and designed by Patrick Hall on July 7, 2014. Copyright © 2014 by Patrick Hall. All rights reserved. Feel free to download it and spread it around, as long as you credit the source and don't charge people for it.

Shall we examine the hypocrisy of this sin? Every sin I've heard of comes with more hypocrisy than ten men could shake sticks at. This hypocrisy comes either as a sort of plot hole, where God is the hypocrite, or because theists regularly commit the sin themselves and blame atheists for doing so. I'd say the "sin" of pride falls into both categories.

Doesn't God seem like a self-righteous, smug, proud prick? He's totally full of himself, what with his, "Praise only me, or go to hell!" If you didn't have a false sense of pride in yourself, you wouldn't have the kind of excessive confidence that makes you think of yourself as worthy of worship. But God clearly thinks he's better than everyone else, not that that's his worst crime. I would like to nominate God for an award—most wicked antagonist in fiction.

Here I thought being good was about actions, which positively affect others and perhaps even negatively affect oneself.

On the other side of the coin of hypocrisy, we find the people who believe in this crap. Many of them are just so damn smug: they think they know something other people don't; they think they'll go to heaven for merely believing in bullshit, while good people go to hell, since you can't be good if you don't worship God. And here I thought being good was about actions, which positively affect others and perhaps even negatively affect oneself. Christians, and other theists, are definitely proud that they know something everybody else does not. You can tell that from a two-second conversation with one. Some of them call all atheists amoral. Think about that for a moment. Not immoralamoral. Like we have no morals. Doesn't that just piss you off!? Smug motherfuckers.

What I'd also like to point out is that feeling pride is no sin. Being overly proud makes you a douche, but it's not evil. I mean, does anybody really think you deserve to be in agony for all eternity for having felt good about yourself when you helped an old lady cross the street? God does.

Do they seriously think being proud is a deadly sin that is enough to send one to hell to be perpetually tortured by red demons holding pitchforks? How can anyone think God loves them if he would do such a thing?

It's all just one massive plot to control people. Don't feel good about yourself, because you're not worth anything. Just mindlessly live your life, because it's when you die the party starts. Allow the rich assholes to rape everything you hold dear. They'll be punished after they die anyway. Oh, right, it was they who wrote that book to make you think they will be punished, so you won't rebel against them, as you think they will be punished anyway. Crap.

Seriously, do religious people possess a single shred of critical thinking? One little scrap would be enough. I know some do, because some theists become atheists; in other words, there are intelligent people who can see through the brainwashing. But what about the rest? Do they seriously think being proud is a deadly sin that is enough to send one to hell to be perpetually tortured by red demons holding pitchforks? How can anyone think God loves them if he would do such a thing?

Objective morals, my ass. Sins are NOT the ultimate system of morality; it's a petty system meant to control feeble-minded people. I'd like to think we'd have moved on, now that we've obtained so much understanding of our world and ourselves. But, sadly, no.