I Am Heretic #16: Greed (Seven Deadly Sins #2)

"I Am Heretic" is a satirical comic, often accompanied with commentary in the form of an article. Download the comic strip from this issue (right click, save as...).


If we would all be a little bit more generous and altruistic, perhaps the world would be a better place.

GREED is one of seven deadly sins that are supposed to be so wicked they're one-way tickets straight to hell. If you commit any of these sins, you deserve to be tormented for all eternity. Well, that's what God thinks, at least.

Greed is about wanting and longing for something vain and shallow, like money or the worship of all human beings. You want these things so badly that you can go to great lengths to acquire them—some even send people to hell. Now, I do agree that greed is bad. If we would all be a little bit more generous and altruistic, perhaps the world would be a better place.

SEVEN DEADLY SINS: GREED: This is a short comic strip. It was written and designed by Patrick Hall on June 24, 2014. Copyright © 2014 by Patrick Hall. All rights reserved. Feel free to download it and spread it around, as long as you credit the source and don't charge people for it.

The thing that burns me up is that, as usual, this sin has exceptions, for some reason. The most obvious example is the holy lord himself—God. He's one greedy sumbitch. Why? As I stated before, dictatorship is a sort of greed. And what is God, if not a dictator, who punishes those who break his arbitrary rules or don't blindly worship him? You must obey, you must believe, you cannot question. PRAISE THE LEADER! Yeah, it doesn't sound like North Korea. At all. This perplexes me, as conservatives, many of whom are the ones who take the Bible literally, are also the ones most adamant about freedom and liberating countries, supposedly to secure oil interests. To be against dictatorships, but be fine with God 'cause, hey, that's God… How can any human being be that dumb?

God—the Christian deity—does not exist, of course. Of all the potential deities, why would he exist? And what about all the plot holes in the Bible? Yeah, the Christian god doesn’t exist, so his greed is sort of irrelevant. It’s relevant to illustrate the point that Christians are blind to the supposed designer's own sins, but we also need some real-life examples. We mustn't look further than religion. The church constantly asks for more money. They don't even pay taxes! Where does all the money go? Why do they need so much money? Maybe they've got a legitimate reason, or perhaps they're just greedy sons of white trash.

Morals are the result of genetic and social evolution, or perhaps it comes from intelligence. Feelings and thus morals may come from a soul, but I refuse to believe we must have a guy with a white beard and halo on one shoulder and a red-clad, pitchfork-bearing demon on the other.

Whenever there's a commandment from the Christian faith that actually makes sense, like thou shalt not kill or the sin of being greedy, ignorant believers ask unbelievers why we don't agree with it, like, "You don't think murder is bad?" It's the stupid rules I'm against, those about obeying, not the ones that make sense, but you never let us answer, you dimwitted primates! It's not the Bible that convinced me of this; if you need a book to tell you what's right or wrong, thank God you're not without this book—otherwise we'd have millions of murderers on our hands, it seems. But let me ask this: Why don't atheists go on killing sprees if we don't have morals? Let me tell you: We do have morals. Morals are the result of genetic and social evolution, or perhaps it comes from intelligence. Feelings and thus morals may come from a soul, but I refuse to believe we must have a guy with a white beard and halo on one shoulder and a red-clad, pitchfork-bearing demon on the other.

And the hypocrisy doesn't even end with all this. No! Who doesn't want the poor to have healthcare or food? Not liberals. It'd have to be conservatives. Whether it is true, I cannot say, but if oil is all you want and you are willing to sacrifice the lives of American soldiers, not to mention innocent civilians in the Middle East, simply to obtain oil, then surely you are one greedy asshole. And who wants to get oil? Not liberals; they wish to find an alternative source of energy, as we should. To seek the very next source of oil, like a middle-aged perv hanging around the high school, is not the right path for us. We must find a safe source of energy, so we don't harm the environment.

If we take the responsibility lightly, we will not only kill off species like they’re good characters on Game of Thrones, but we’ll end up killing ourselves. As the noose keeps on getting tighter, we tug harder on the rope and wonder why we have trouble drawing breath.

This leads me to the next point. The environment is something we must handle with care. I don't believe the human species is the center of the universe, or even the Earth, but nonetheless, our ingenuity has made us the wardens of science's blue planet—as opposed to God's green Earth. If we take the responsibility lightly, we will not only kill off species like they're good characters on Game of Thrones, but we'll end up killing ourselves. As the noose keeps on getting tighter, we tug harder on the rope and wonder why we have trouble drawing breath. Conservatives refuse to believe we are doing any harm, which they are right about, though not in the way they think. As they say, the planet will be fine. The problem is, it will be fine without us. What is their reason for so blatantly disregarding the changes to the environment, caused by humans? Well, trying to fix the environment and ceasing to cut down trees would slow the economy. Oh yes—the economy. Surely money is more important than clean air and life.

But I'll be damned if anyone ever calls a conservative greedy.