I Am Heretic #12: I'm a Satanist

"I Am Heretic" is a satirical comic, often accompanied with commentary in the form of an article. Download the comic strip from this issue (right click and save as...)


For some reason, Christians seem to think atheists are Satanists, as though we worship Satan by not worshipping God. This is, of course, because in the world of religion, there are just absolutes. Either it’s this way or the complete opposite. Like ol’ Ben Kenobi said before he became old and creepy (Blue Harvest), “Only the Sith deal in absolutes.” Well, that’s not completely true. Of course there are some absolutes, but Obi-Wan was speaking of how Anakin saw him as an enemy because he wasn’t fully behind him (something conservatives also do). I refer to the there-is-a-flaw-in-science-so-Christianity-must-be-correct bullshit and also the you-do-not-worship-my-god-so-you-must-be-evil crap.

I'M A SATANIST: This is a short comic strip. It was written and designed by Patrick Hall on May 13, 2014. Copyright © 2014 by Patrick Hall. All rights reserved. Feel free to download it and spread it around, as long as you credit the source and don't charge people for it.

To stereotype is wrong, as is generalizing, so obviously not all Christians are extremists, but that is hard to tell; the hateful and negative persons are always the loudest. Let me tell you this, though: If God truly does think free healthcare is wrong; if he truly does hate lazy, poor people, who had the audacity not to be born in a rich family; if he truly does punish the ones not enslaved to him; if he truly does hate “fags” and atheists, and thinks such persons do not deserve any happiness; if he truly does think women should be enslaved to their men; if he truly does believe radical church idiots should be in charge of the world; and if Satan truly is God’s complete opposite—then yes, I’m a Satanist.