I Am Heretic #8: How to Write for Game of Thrones

"I Am Heretic" is a satirical comic, often accompanied with commentary in the form of an article. Download the comic strip from this issue (right click, save as...).


Pervy, little boys will be pervy, little boys. Stupid, slutty girls will be stupid, slutty girls.

So I'm watching Game of Thrones from the beginning again, and... Sigh. It's a good show, but they must ruin it by having a sophisticated, intelligent person write/direct half of the scenes and a juvenile, stupid, thirteen-year-old, little creep write/direct the other half. First of all, I am the kinda guy who thinks there's nothing wrong with degrading characters, but that it's not entirely morally upright to degrade the actors and actresses who portray the characters, though it's certainly okay if everyone consents. In short, they don't actually have to show the audience a woman's breasts, just because they have a sex scene, but I don't condemn them to hell for it. Pervy, little boys will be pervy, little boys. Stupid, slutty girls will be stupid, slutty girls.

HOW TO WRITE FOR GAME OF THRONES: This is a short comic strip. It was written and designed by Patrick Hall on April 10, 2014. Copyright © 2014 by Patrick Hall. All rights reserved. Feel free to download it and spread it around, as long as you credit the source and don't charge people for it.

However, even if we overlook the fact that the boys who make Game of Thrones neither respect women, nor their actresses, the nudity in the show is still ridiculous. The problem I have with the show is not that it has nudity, but that it has so much of it that it feels like the producers would rather focus on tits than story. I don't think I've ever seen a series with so many scenes taking place in a whorehouse. But I suppose slutty actresses belong in a fictional brothel. No, in all seriousness, every other scene has a naked woman, and it is so juvenile and utterly pointless that it makes the show bad, in my eyes. I can't take Game of Thrones seriously, and that's not good.

Oh, and some guys don't like it when pornography has a plot. It's just so fake and detracts from the naked morons.